It was an easy pregnancy, and my newborn arrived into the world healthy and beautiful. I should have been a glowing new mom. Instead, I cried more than I smiled and felt gripping anxiety. My thoughts were unfocused, I had trouble sleeping, and–emotionally, I just couldn’t enjoy being a mom. At the time, I had no idea what postpartum depression was or that I was suffering from it.
The care package arrived from my longtime friend who lived too far away to visit. Her box was filled with baby clothes and books. One of the books had the words “Psalm 91” written on it. What was interesting was that the book actually was intended for children, but I couldn’t take my eyes off it. Page by page, the story unfolded of how God protects us, how he covers us with His feathers. Say what? I suddenly envisioned God in heaven as this enormous eagle spreading his wings in either direction as far as I could see, watching over me as I struggled with inner turmoil.
One night as I couldn’t fall asleep yet again, the words of Psalm 91:15 came to mind, via my own paraphrase: “(Lipreading Mom) will call upon me, and I will answer (her); I will be with (her) in trouble, I will deliver and honor (her).”
“God,” I prayed that night, “help me. Help. Me.”
Within hours, I sought professional help. Within days, I found encouragement from other young moms. Within weeks, I was taking my newborn to church with me.
As I listened to the worship songs play, I felt something deep within. It was the need to sing to God, to thank Him for helping me. I closed my eyes and sang to Him, knowing that He used the words of Psalm 91 to help Lipreading Mom find some desperately needed peace.