It’s the most wonderful time of the year. But for the 1 in 10 people with hearing loss, it’s also the most challenging time for communication. Lipreading Mom should know. I’ve had 11 years of holidaytime hearing loss experience.
The whole family is packed around the dinner table, busily chatting about their good fortune and laying food onto their plates. Simultaneous conversations are difficult for us hard of hearing folks to follow. And it’s nearly impossible to lipread the youngster sitting next to me who’s talking with a mouth full of mashed potatoes.
So what’s a person with hearing loss to do at the holidays? Avoid large crowds entirely?
Lipreading Mom offers these suggestions for focusing on happiness, not hearing loss, at the holidays.
- Create the right environment. If you haven’t already done so, let the hostess know in advance about your hearing difficulties and for her help in accommodating you. Lipreading Mom suggests good table lighting for easy lipreading and no dinnertime music unless it’s at the lowest volume imaginable. Sorry cousins, but no squeaky clarinet performances. If a TV is playing, ask for the volume to be turned down and for the closed captions to be turned on.
- Ask for hearing help. Sit close to someone who can be your hearing helper. Decide on a code word between the two of you that means you need help in a hearing situation. Be sure to sit close enough to the helper and have a pen and paper handy in case you need the details of a tableside joke written down.
- Face your guests, not the stove. If you are hosting the get-together, have most of meal and table preparation completed before guests arrive. This will give you time to converse with guests as they arrive instead of standing over a stove. This year, Lipreading Mom prepared all side items for Thanksgiving dinner 24 hours in advance, then put everything into the refrigerator. A half-hour before mealtime, the items warmed in the oven after the turkey came out. So you can spend a few minutes lipreading your chatty niece, take a guest up on his offer to slice the ham.
- Play the quiet game. After everyone is done eating or opening presents, excuse yourself into a quiet room, such as a bathroom or porch. Spend the next five minutes giving your ears a break from holiday noise. Clear your head by meditating, praying or replaying a fun holiday song in your mind. This is your time to decompress from having to follow table conversations and also a good excuse not to wash a sink full of dishes.
- Find a one-on-one conversation spot. Pick the least noisy place in the house (not counting the bathroom), and grab a loved one for a chat. Just because you’re hard of hearing doesn’t mean you can’t still be part of meaningful conversation. You just have to pick your quiet spot so you can actually hear that conversation. No gum chewing or smoking allowed since you need to see a person’s lips to lipread. And remind your chat buddy to speak at a natural volume level and pace. No shouting aloud (unless it’s part of a good joke).
While it can be challenging for a Lipreading Mom to always hear well with a house full of kids, I have one thing in particular to be thankful for this holiday. My hearing aids come with an on/off switch. I plan to use that switch as needed come Thanksgiving and December 25.
For my American readers, Happy Thankgiving to you!
Thank you, Denise. You have much more wisdom and experience to share about the holidays and communication. Happy Thankgiving to you and your family!
Interestingly enough, the same is true of the Deaf. At the celebration party for graduation from DBCAN as a Support Service Provider there was one HoH person (me) who is only partly ASL literate and four Deaf individuals. One of the speech to ASL terps came over. At one point he waved at all of us and said, “Only two eyes!”
I love being able to understand conversations in ASL – I have one terp and one friend I understand 99% of the time, but those are 1-1 conversations. Imagine being at a table with everyone signing.
The rule is that you’ve got to be looking at the face and the area around the top of the body for sign. 🙂 I suppose it is only those who are fully hearing who can cope in large, noisy groups.
Marsha – I like that expression, “only two eyes”. And yes, those who are Deaf can also benefit from others who communicate one-to-one. Hearing friends, please take note!
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